Oy vey  how I loved Breslev, I devoted my soul to travel from Tiberia to Jerusalem when I did not have money and did not have bread for the children, I did not have a garment for the children, I went to Jerusalem, and people of our peace were all poor. Well, by the poor can one eat? can one receive money? Even [to receive] not a great amount -- but they were poor.

I suffered... why, if there is no money and there is no bread, I will go to a store and the seller will not give me; whether I am hungry or not -- this is not his business, "You want bread – money!" I did not have money.

And neither did I have water. In Jerusalem there was a great emergency in water, today there are wells, but then was one well in all Jerusalem. Then there were two kinds of water – water for washing hands and water for drinking. In the synagogue they do not buy for drinking, they buy inexpensively water for washing hands. I did not have water to drink, neither bread nor water.

Well, I saw that I traveled to Jerusalem, I looked at myself, "What, how will you travel? To whom will you go? What will you do there? You will not have what do eat, even bread." But I did not look at this, I gave over my soul, I had to hear from Rav Naftali some word from our Rabbi and also from this one and from that one.

Every time there were different reasons and different miracles during the trip. What, without money can one travel? To Haifa and to Jerusalem they need money to pay for the trip and for bread. But by the Lord, blessed-be-He, everything is recorded, there is an account. The Lord, blessed-be-He, He sees my heart, He saw that I was traveling in devotion of soul to hear some word from our Rabbi, so he wrote to me: "My Dear Student!"

But I was alive and I endured the same of hunger. Even water I did not have. A trip like this is unique in the world!

Once I met Rav Alter Shochet, he had such a name, that he was a Tzaddik, that he was great, that he served the Lord, the he did charity and kindness. So I wanted to travel to Jerusalem but without money it is impossible to travel, so I saw Rav Alter, I thought: "Maybe he will help me." Then I said: "Rav Alter, I have a request of you."

"What is it?"

"I need a loan of half a lirah."

Then he looked at me like at an insane one, "What is he talking about, am I rich? am I a banker? do I have half a lirah? In the bank there is half a lirah, but I have only grushim. What is he saying, a loan of half a lirah?" He said to me: "Leave me alone. How do you have such nerve to ask of me half a lirah?"

Well, I was very embarassed, I said to him: "If you are not able, do not give." But my request, he would not be able to get out of his heart, he would not be able to forget, I said to him with force, with authority: "I need half a lirah!" that he should loan me half a lirah. He thought: "When will he return it to me? Can he give [back] half a lirah? It is possible to give a grush, two grush, five grush, but not half a lirah." In the end, I did not give him rest, every time he saw me: "What have I done, why did I do so? I cannot rest!"

He told me that he would reconsider, afterwards he saw me in the market and called to me and said to me: "I will give you half a lirah. Tomorrow, [or on] the day after, I will give to half a lirah."

Well, well, my joy.. Now I have money to take the trip to Jerusalem. But they did not travel directly from Tiberia to Jerusalem, first they must travel to Haifa and from Haifa to Jerusalem. From Tiberia to Haifa cost half a lirah, but from Haifa to Jerusalem once again I had not...

In Haifa there lived a Rabbi who knew our Rebbi, and all Haifa loved him. He shaved all the hair in the place of the forelock, and did not leave hair live everyone else, he was the only one in Haifa. His milk was also one-of-a-kind in Haifa, they felt the taste of the Garden of Eden in his milk. I came to him and his wife did not want guests, she said to me: "Guests – take him to the inn. I cannot, I haven’t the strength, I do not want guests." So it was. He walked with me to the hotel, made for me a bed and what to eat and where to sleep.

At midnight he went to the village to stand at the milking-house so that it would not be milk of idolators, milk of gentiles, and I went with him. Well, he had several pails of milk, he took a pail and I took a pail and we walked, the two of us, and we spoke of our Rebbi from house to house. Oy, we see that it is hard for a man to do a mitzvah. If we would have given me money so that I would have for bread, for sending home some thing, he had much money. His gift was the inn and the food and a half lirah, this he gave me, and half a lirah.

I saw fellow chassidei Breslev from Poland, one fellow had a factory and he was very rich and he raised his eyes, and he gave me to sleep, gave me to eat, but money – this he was stingy on money. And I saw that whoever does not have the fortune – they do not allow him to perform the mitzvah of tzedakah. If he would give me some lirot to bring home so that I would have bread to eat. What was I asking – some extra thing? Bread for the children, clothing for the children. Ay, ay, ay, if he would give, he would have to give charity and money in great openness, he would have money and he would profit, but he did not give. His gift was ten grush, that’s how he gave to me. What, what is he working for, for whom, for what? But there is no intellect. Though he profits and has money, he has no control over himself with the money. That is how it is. And also because I needed to pass through such as road to see what would become of me.

They knew that I was unique in the world!

I did not think about this, I did not mind him, I did not have a grudge in my heart why he hid his eye, that’s how the Lord, blessed-be-He, runs the world, whoever does not have the privelidge, is given the money, "do not give to Israel Ber, [give him] only ten grush."

But I, despite this, did not look at this. In any case he did not have false beliefs, he did not believe in ADMORs, and in this I was with him together very close. He was like me, he was far, he did not believe in false faiths. But this is not enough...

And so I went to Shaarei Chesed to talk about Rabbeinu with this one and with that one. If I would say that I suffer poverty – well, in Jerusalem there are many poor.

Oy who knows, who can tell, who can fathom such things. I could have been a madman or a thief or something of the sort. Is it possible to fathom in the mind such a thing, one has a child and he has no garment and he has no bread and not a shoe for his foot and I did not pay for them the tuition for education in school and they threw them out every month from the school, that they should not come until they bring money. Well, who indeed can understand this, what affliction this is? Who can fathom the affliction and the pain and the shame, who can fathom. Now I tell it and I laugh and I am happy, but at that time who could fathom my heart, the affliction and the broken-heartedness I had?

Oy, Master of the Universe knows the truth, however much I tell, it will never reach according to what it was! And thank the Lord I did not give in to the falsehood. Thank the Lord I was strong, I laughed at them all. I was mighty and strong and I did not give myself in to anything!

I lived in Tiberia and I did not have a liveliehood, and I traveled to Jerusalem to hear some word from Rabbeinu. I traveled to Jerusalem and there I was happy. And I returned from Jerusalem and I found my daughter ill, so far from life, with such sickness.. then my wife said to me: "You caused her this! She missed you and she went into such a sickness, she missed her father," but thank the Lord she recovered.  (:^>