I  lived in Tiberia and I did not leave Tiberia, Tsfat was close to Tiberia and everyone traveled to Meron in Elul and on Lag B`Omer. And I was poor, I did not have money, so I did not travel to Tsfat. If I would have traveled to Tsfat perhaps I would have heard of Breslev Chasids, but I did not know of Breslev Chasids. Then I asked of the Lord, blessed-be-He, that He should summon to me Breslev Chasids, I thought: "Perhaps there is in the world in some place Breslev Chasids, perhaps in Jerusalem." I asked and prayed to the Lord, blessed-be-He, and much time passed, and the Lord, blessed-be-He, received my prayer and sent to me, to Tiberia, Rabbi Israel Kardoner!

I endured and the Lord, blessed-be-He, did wonders with me, high mercy, in Tsfat there lived my holy teacher Rabbi Israel Kardoner and he was such a novelty, nothing like him in the world. I grew up among great Chasidim, stringent ones, precise in the commandments, but I saw this man – I saw that all of them stand outside, they do not know a thing about faith, about the Torah, about the Lord, blessed-be-He. They all study, but I saw that compared to him – he was the only one in the world, no one like him!

But I did not recognize him and I did not hear of him. He was located in Meron and did not want to move from Meron. He served the Lord there alone, there was not a creature there. He had the key to the synagogue of Rabbi Shim`on Bar Yochai and he was there alone in seclusion and also walked amongst the mountains to do hitbodedut (isolated meditation) and to pray and he busied in the service of the Lord in devotion of soul.

His family was living in Tsfat and he was the whole week in Meron, every Friday he would walk from Meron to Tsfat. The Lord, blessed-be-He, wanted that Rabbi Israel should walk from Meron to Tiberia to Israel Ber, but Rabbi Israel did not go out from Meron even if they should give him all the money in the world – would he leave Meron? Would he leave now such a holy place and go to Tiberia, what is for him in Tiberia? Any place in the world – only Meron. Well, who would have said that Rabbi Israel would go to Tiberia?

The Lord, blessed-be-He, knew that Rabbi Israel would not move from Meron, what did He do? He sent him a sickness on the hand and aches grew day by day, hour by hour, such aches that it is impossible to speak a single utterance, he was unable to pray nor do any service. And he did not hang any thing upon the way of nature, just everything is the providence of the Creator, and when he saw such a thing, then he began to thing that perhaps the will of the Creator is that he should go to Tiberia. What would be in Tiberia? In Tiberia the weather is warmer than Meron and Tsfat, we would not be healthy but he would not have such great pains and would be able to pray and busy in service of the Lord. But although he had such strong pains, he had doubts whether to leave Rabbi Shim`on and go to Tiberia, or not. For he thought: "How is it possible to say such a thing, when a man is in affliction then he should flee from Rabbi Shim`on Bar Yochai to Tiberia? They must flee to Rabbi Shim`on, to pray and ask for healing." So as long as he did not know clearly that the will of the Creator was that he should go to Tiberia – he would remain in Meron, and when he would know clearly then he would immediately go, but he did not know.

Then he had hitbodedut and he greatly asked of the Lord, blessed-be-He, that He should illuminate his thought and mind what to do, "If the will of the Creator is that I should go to Tiberia then I will go immediately to Tiberia, I want only to know what is the will of the Creator. Whether no, or yes; whether yes, or no." Then he prayed so much until the Lord, blessed-be-He, lit up his eyes and brought about reasons, that he should know clearly that the will of the Creator is but that he should go to Tiberia.

This was on Wednesday. Rabbi Israel arose on Thursday in the morning early and went to a donkey owner and rented an ass to Tiberia. He could have gone on Sunday after Shabbat. No, since he knew clearly that the will of the Creator was that he should go to Tiberia, so he immediately went from Tsfat.

My parents were poor and they were coffee grinders, but at the time of the War the coffee was finished and they were left without income. Mother told Ben Achiyah, Binyamin Barzel, that we were left without income and he suggested to her to bake bread. Mother asked him: "From where shall I take flour?" Then he answered her: "I will tell the flour seller that he should give you as much flour as you need!" And so it was.

We began to bake bread on Sunday and Rabbi Israel came in this week on Thursday to Tiberia. And just when he lighted from the donkey he needed a loaf of bread to eat dinner, so he met Binyamin Barzel and asked him to show him where to buy a loaf of bread. Binyamin Barzel knew that my family had begun to bake bread to sale, so he brought Rabbi Israel to us...

We  were five brothers in the house and almost all of them were older than me, and it was providence that the Lord, blessed-be-He, brought about reasons that I took the loaf of bread and I brought out and gave to Rabbi Israel, and as soon as I saw him I was very frightened of his form and his speech, I had never seen a man like this, the grace of the holiness was on his face and on his every speech. I was very frightened and moved, I thought: "Perhaps this is providence from the Lord, blessed-be-He, for I prayed to the Lord, blessed-be-He, perhaps this is the man that I will benefit from, from whom I will have salvation, by him I will find all that I need." Then I thought: "This man is a hidden Tzaddik, and by him I will find what I seek – faith and fear of Heaven." But I thought: "How can I have connection with him?" I thought that he was a hidden Tzaddik, of the thirty-six Tzaddikim. A hidden Tzaddik can perform teleportation and tomorrow he may be in Jerusalem and I may not know a thing of him.

I am thinking so, and he put the hand into the pocket and took out money to pay me for the bread and said: "Perhaps I may eat the bread by you in the house?"

Then I felt that he knew my thought and my desire – I am thinking how I will have connection with him and he asks me: "Perhaps I may eat by you the bread..."

Well, I saw that this was a long shot, for Father would not agree to this, not because I did not want, just because it was already Thursday night and they needed to prepare loaves to bake bread and needed to make it a night, to recite Shem`a and sleep and rise, and also the house was small and we did not have space even to eat. And also my parents were great paupers and my father was blind, "full of light," and the house was like the cave of Rabbi Shim`on, there was no place to sit, I thought: "Father will scold me and despise me – ‘what is this that you ask such a request?’ But I myself could not bring in a guest without Father’s permission." But in order that I should have connection with Rabbi Israel, I strengthened myself much with all my power and I said that there will whatever will be, even should he strike me and despise me I will ask Father, be whatever will be, I will as him!

Then I asked him: "Father, take the money for the bread, and this man requests, we wants to eat the bread by us in the house..."

Then Father asked me: "Yes, yes, yes, by all means, we have left some part of the dishes, lentils and rice, so give him. Shall he eat bread alone?"

So when Father told me yes, I saw that this was a salvation for me, providence from the Lord, blessed-be-He, above nature, that I should have connection with this holy Tzaddik. I saw the providence from every side, this was highest providence and a great kindness.

And so it was. They made it a night, recited Shem`a and lay down to sleep on the floor with the children, and I and Rabbi Israel remained together alone. He sat by the door on some step of the house and I have him bread to eat and he did washing of the hands and the blessing of Hamotzi. And when I heard the blessing from him "`Al netilat-yadayim" and "Hamotzi" in such fear and cleavage, I saw that this is correct, this is a Tzaddik and holy, a hidden Tzaddik. For his speech as holy, it was like hitbodedut, like prayer, like we are talking now – that is how he was talking to the Lord, blessed-be-He, as if there were no people in the house, only he and the Lord, blessed-be-He. I saw a wonder, I grew up among Chasidim, among learners of Torah and fearers of the Lord, but such a blessing heard I yet not. And also a face and likeness like this, like Rabbi Israel had, I had not seen.

Then I gave him what was left from our meal so that he could eat, then he said to me: "I do not eat anything, just bread and tee, without sugar." But we did not have tea and we did not have an oil machine, only the rich had oil machines, but the poor used coal, and coal is a craft that they must learn to make fire, and this took time until I merited and succeeded and made fire and made tea. And I did not know that he was a Breslever, I know only that he was a hidden Tzaddik, and I was not able to hold back, so in the middle of work when I was making the fire, every time I entered to him and told him quietly, in secret, in the ear, "Rabbi Israel, know that you came to Tiberia for me, for I am in a very hard situation, the evil inclination and more strengthen upon me, and I greatly want to serve the Lord in truth and there is upon me great battles, and I search all the days of my life a place that they should guide me and shine in me the light of the Lord, and that I should merit to serve the Lord in truth. So I am sure that the Lord, blessed-be-He, sent you to Tiberia and you came to Tiberia for me. And so I ask you to not leave me!"

He heard such a thing, and I saw that he was so moved, for he saw eye to eye that the providence of the Lord, blessed-be-He, was that he should come to Tiberia, for as soon as he lighted from the donkey and came to Tiberia he arrived straight to my house and he heard such words. He needed to travel even earlier to Tiberia, but as long as he did not know clearly that he needed to travel he did not want to move from Meron and he had doubts, now he saw that this was intended from the Lord, blessed-be-He, that he should leave Meron. And also I saw with my eyes Rabbi Israel – I saw what is Breslev!

I saw his prayer and his service and his Shabbat, his holy utterances, his desires and all that he endured for me. He came to Tiberia and found Israel Ber, so he already forgot that he had a family in Tsfat and that Meron exists and he cast everything off just for me. And from that night I merited to be tied to him in such a tie that was an awesome revelation...

Oy  vey, what was, a story like this, a special thing of wonder, like nothing else. Afterwards we took a walk and he told me that he wanted to be in some synagogue to say the midnight prayer and to say tehillim and to pray and to do hitbodedut. Well, I walked with him to the synagogue and on the way I spoke with him and I told him my matter and he listened to everything, and I wanted to say confession of things before him and he did not want to hear and said that it is forbidden, only in generality. So I talked with him and I wept before him because I felt that there were by him remedies for me and that he would not leave me and go to Meron.

And I walked with him from synagogue to synagogue, and all of them were closed and I did not know where the key was, so it fell into my mind that there is only one synagogue of the holy Tzaddikim that were before a hundred years, from the time of the students of the Ba`al Shem Tov, Rabbi Israel Kalisker and the grandfather of Rabbeinu – Rabbi Nachman Horodenker, after whom our holy Rabbi is named, and all the rest of the holy Tzaddikim. They built the synagogue and tried that it should be in a place close to the sea so that they would be able to dunk and pray whenever they wanted. But in winter, when there was a hard winter and much rain, the waters would raise themselves up and the sea would inter into this synagogue to the height of half of the tables and they could not pray, so they took the books and everything and left the tables in the synagogue and the synagogue was open until the month of Nisan, until the waters receded.

So we entered this synagogue, inside "the sea," and we went up on a table and learned Torah seven, Part 2 in Likutei Moharan – "For their Merciful One shall lead them." And he taught me the that Torah all night, and I merited to this that all the days of my life I did not feel a taste of Torah, a taste of fear of Heaven like that night that he taught me that holy Torah "For their Merciful One shall lead them." And we were in the synagogue and studied all night, and I did not feel at all that it was due time to sleep. And he was "rich," he had candles and matches that were of high price, and he lit a candle and learned with me in Likutei Moharan until nearly the light of morning, until I heard the voice of weeping of my mother who cried much like after one passed away, "My son, my son, my son." She saw that it was already close to the light of day and I was not present, so she thought: "Who knows what happened?"

She walked from synagogue to synagogue to look for me in great cries and did not find me, the synagogues were closed, so she cried much and her voice was heard in the entire city. Tiberia was a small city and the entire city came, and they thought that someone passed away. The neighbors from the surroundings came in the morning and asked: "What, what are the cries and shouts, what happened?"

Then she told them: "Some son of man came and bought bread by us and he ate the bread in our house, and he tool Israel Ber and walked all night and disappeared. I got up to work, and Israel Ber was not!" And they did not know who this was. And this was the beginning of the War, and the Turks were wild men, they only saw son of man who had arms and legs, then they took him for the army. So she thought "Maybe..." I have arms and legs so maybe they took me for the army.

She cried and the whole city was noised up and I heard, so I said to Rabbi Israel, "Oy vey, it is already after midnight and my mother is looking for and asking for me." So I went out from the synagogue and I went to my mother and I said to her: "What is this crying?" Then she said to me: "What is this you have done? Where did you go all night? Anyway you know now we must throw to the trash all the dough and all the loaves and all the bread." Well, from that night was noise made in Tiberia: "This night Israel Ber became a Breslever!"

In the morning  when I went to the synagogue and Rabbi Israel was in the synagogue and I spoke with him and we learned books of Rabbeinu and gemara and Shulkhan Arukh, poskim, then right away great noise was made in Tiberia and a name went out for me that I became a Breslever.

Well, there came to pass upon me an argument, a great battle, and Father and Mother and the near relatives and the family and all the yeshivah, all of them said: "Oy vey, great mercies, Israel Ber became a Breslever, Israel Ber became a Breslever!"

And Father and Mother heard and they did not mind so much, but the gabbai of the yeshivah and some more honored people came to them, scholars and men of renown and fame, and told Father: "Do you know that Israel Ber has become a Breslever?"

So Father said: "I do not worry, I know my son, he fears Heaven and fulfils honor of father and mother the most in the world, even if I sent him to the fire – we would go, there is none like him. I am not worried. So when he comes from the yeshivah I will tell him that I do not want, then he will not be a Breslever. I have no problem."

Then they said: "You do not know what is Breslev, he will not listen to you, you need a heavy war."

Then he said: "I do not worry, I know my son."

I came from the yeshivah on Thursday, then Father told me: "Know, my son, that the big guys from the yeshivah were by my and they told me that you have become a Breslever. Know, my son, have compassion on me, I ask you that you not grieve me, you belong to a different Chasidut, I give you permission to be in whatever Chasidut you like, only one request have I, I do not want that you be a Breslever."

So this was the first time that I transgressed the commandment of honor of one’s father and I said to him: "Father, you know me, I fulfil honor of one’s father, everything I will listen to from you, only this thing – No! In this I will not listen to you! Why? I do not know."

Then he saw: "Ahah, they were right. They said that I do not know what Breslev is, what is this! This is very awesome, he fulfils all the days of his life honor of the father in devotion of soul and now he says so? This is the first time in my life that I hear that he does not want to fulfil my words."

Father said to me: "I do not want you to be Breslev in any way! I want that you should be like all the world."

Oy, oy, what else happened, what happened... can one tell? All of Tiberia cried over me, Father and Mother cried: "What has become of him, what is this? It is impossible to be a chasid not Breslev. What is this, we do not want Breslev!"

Rabbi  Israel Kardoner said to my Mother: "This is a thing that is impossible in any way to annul. Israel Ber will forever and ever be Breslev and that is how it will be!"

My mother heard him so speak, so she fell and died from the greatness of fear and the great disappointment in the house of Rabbi Israel, she passed away. She heard that no power in the world would help. I said: "I will be Breslev all the days of my life!"

Then a miracle from heaven occurred. One of the chevrah qadisha saw that my mother made some movement from the eye and it was a sign of life, he saw that the eye was not dead. But he thought: "It is only imagination."

Then another one came and also saw the same thing, that she made some movement in the eye. Well, "By the mouth of two witnesses shall a thing stand!"

The people said that it was impossible for her to be alive, the hear stopped working and all of them saw that she was dead, but she said: "No, I am not dead..."

And all  the chasidim and the whole city was already boiling. Whoever had strength to talk with a Breslev chasid of to read a Breslev book, feared. Why should he do this, this is not his business. But blessed be the Lord, I paid no mind, I did not look at any thing, neither at the great Rabbis nor at the shidduch, I gave it all over, just what I saw what Rabbi Israel Kardoner is.

To this day I have a name, there are already eight years since I drew close to Rabbi Israel and all of them were such opposers, and I, blessed be the Lord, took all the bullets, all the insults and all the afflictions in love in great strength and all of them were annulled from this. They saw my strength, this is not in the way of nature, they did not understand this. I saw of one great rabbi in the Torah and I learned with him. Well, it was a miracle, if he said "Breslev no," then immediately [I] had to leave it. But I saw what I saw, I saw Rabbi Israel, I only saw him the first time in my life, I did not know who he was, so I said: "Oy vey, this man is a hidden Tzaddik and I need him much, if I had some tie with him I would merit to serve the Lord in truth as I want." What happened to me and Rabbi Israel happened, what we endured...

The main thing  is how the Lord brought about causes, how I merited to know of Breslev. At the beginning of everything I did not know of Rabbeinu, I did not know of the name Breslev, [He] caused that it became known to me that there are Breslev books that are forbidden to read. I was a poor boy and I was very subdued, and also I was not talented, I did not have anything to study. Anyway, from that night and blessed be the Lord to this day I hold my position. They all laughed at me, the great ones and the Rabbis, "He is Breslev!" But I laughed at them, I overcame all of them, I remained and I shall remain on this way, but the Lord, blessed-be-He, gives me a gift, to be yet in this world...

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© 2005 Nissim Kaufmann, nissimkaufmann*yahoo^com. Please copy and distribute for non-profit use.